I wish I were funnier.
If I were funnier, I could relate just how scary it is to apply to graduate school. As it is, I can’t explain; if you haven’t done this (or its equivalent, like flight school, med school, vet school, law school, etc), I can’t explain. If I didn’t try, though, this would be really short, and who wants that. Well, plenty of people, I’m sure, but ignore them.
I love history. I want to learn everything there is to know about certain points in history and be the unfun guy at parties who compares the current state of things to how things were in Roman times or how Genghis Kahn would have dealt with financial systems or how Rommel would have crushed Al Quaeda. I want to be the guy who sits up late at night wondering what the Romans would have done if they had developed the atomic bomb. I want to be the guy who stands up in front of his college class and says, “I’m only giving out 5 A’s this year – good luck!”
All I need now is a bunch of people I’ve never met to say they love me enough to take a chance and let me do all these things. They’ve never met me, so there’s actually a good chance they could like me enough. See…I can be funny. But now comes the worrying. Is my Statement of Purpose personal enough? Are my recommendations killer enough? Does the fact that I’ve been out of the classroom for 10 years turn them off, or will that show my experience? Am I being too neurotic? Oh crap…will they read this and see how terrified I am? If so, will that show my humanity, or do they want confidence? Oh double crap…now I’m obsessing over what they think? AAAAAAARRRGH!
I wish I were funnier. Baring that, I wish I were sane. The next few months should be fun.